hollowchild | IC Inbox

At that moment? No, not really. You weren't fighting me, you were fighting whatever's in your head. And no, that's not just me excusing you.

My head's fine. [And it really is, considering how he's being oh-so-careful not to look at her.] It's not an excuse either way.

[so very, very gentle]

You are getting worse and worse at lying to me. And I'm not upset about it, Draco, other than being annoyed at myself.

[He's silent again when he stares at her, idly scratching at his left wrist before looking away entirely.]

...have I ever told you how much I hate sleeping?

You've mentioned.

I hate it. I hate it, I hate this! [What "this" is, he isn't quite sure how to articulate without more or less screaming that he hates himself.]

I know.

[it's not placating, just accepting. she knows he hates the things he's done and not done]

No, Sophie. No you don't. You don't. How can you possibly know something I don't even fully understand?

Try me, Draco. Tell me what I don't know.

[it's kind of like getting angry at a wall that can see right into the depths of him and is subtly egging him on]

...[Oh. Oh, wait, what? He's just staring at her for a moment, flabbergasted that she seems to actually be asking.]

...nightmares can fuck off. The gods can fuck off. Everything can fuck off. [He's kind of just getting progressively more frustrated.] How dare they invade our privacy like that and how dare they make us relive everything we've been trying to avoid?

[because she wants to know, draco. gosh.]

They're gods, it seems they dare as they like. Most of us do that anyway. It's the part where we had to share that bothers me.

...yeah. That, too.

[He looks like he has a lot to say. He really does have a lot to say but he has absolutely no idea how to go about speaking.]

Even now that it's all said and done, the damage is still there.

Of course. It won't just disappear. We can't pretend things didn't happen, not those kinds of things.

Right...[...come on, Draco. It's Sophie. If there's anyone that could serve as someone to get you to cope with all of your messy feelings leftover from the nightmares, it's her.

As it stands though he's trying to scoot back instead.]

...I should go. I'm behind in work.

No you don't.

[her hands on him aren't forceful, but they are firm, catching his left shoulder and his right forearm]

You can't scare me off, Draco. Not with your pain or your fear or how much you hate yourself and the things you've done and didn't do.

[He's trying to pull away anyhow, if only because he's already talked himself into the fact that this was a mistake. This was such a huge mistake.]

Never mind. Just never mind. I know I can't but just never mind.

[her fingers tighten a bit, but she's still not trying to restrain him]

No, I really can't do that.

Sophie please? [Look, he's asking nicely and everything while more or less trying to yank his arm back.]

[he can have his arm, because she's going to slip very gracefully past him to block the door, leaning against it. she looks just a little sad, but doesn't say anything, just shakes her head a little. the idea of cornering him bothers her, but it feels like a deeply bad idea to let draco run away]

[He's immediately on his feet...well, not entirely immediately since he's sore, but fast enough to get his point across. He's trying not to read too much into her look, trying not to think too much about her posture. He doesn't make a move to cross the room yet though.]

...what do you think you're doing?

[there's nothing threatening in her posture beyond the fact that she's blocking the only way out of the room. if anything, she really, really doesn't want this to become a physical thing.]

Riding your fear.

...I have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to mean. But I'm serious, Sophie. Move. [His resolve's crumbling just a little bit the longer he's stuck there and unable to go dive into some other distraction.]

I know.

I'm not moving.

...then I'll have to move you myself. [In which he'll become another human rocket, shooting up into the air with every intention to try and fly his way over her head and out the door.

Good plan, Draco. Really.]

[sophie, as promised, doesn't move. but draco still finds the way blocked by a sudden thick cover of shadow. it completely obscures the doorway and a good bit of the wall, and if he hits it it's a lot like hitting a tensed thigh muscle made of gathered darkness.

sophie just watches and waits.]