hollowchild | IC Inbox

[It's just shadow, right? How hard can that be to fight through? He's going to do what any teenage boy would do in this situation. He's going to try beating the crap out of it, clawing and fighting against it to try and leave.]

[it's not hard, it's impossible. the shadows are an extension of sophie's will, they're exactly has difficult to penetrate as she wants them to be. he can struggle for as long as he likes, but it's not going to do a damn thing to the wall of shadow, and it's not going to particularly hurt him, either. where he hits, it gives under his hands like a gel, absorbing the blow without getting him any closer to the door, and there's nothing to sink his nails into in order to try and rip it away.

she's sorry about what she's doing, sorry about his panic and his anger, but she's not letting him at that door]

[As time passes his movements become more frantic, hits becoming harder, faster and claws trying to dig in deeper. He can't help but let out a noise of despair as he finds the shadows aren't giving way despite his best efforts.

But he's not stopping. He can't stop because if he stops everything's going to catch up, and if everything catchs up, that's it. That's the end of Draco Malfoy.

If she's listening enough she can possibly pick up on some muttering under his breath, something that sounds a lot like he's begging her to relent and let him out of the arena. But he has a strong feeling that's not a possibility, so he's focusing more of his attention on trying to rip through the shadowed wall.]

[it kind of makes her want to cry, that desperate pleading. the weaker parts of her want to relent, because she's hurting him. but she's not the real cause of all this. it doesn't stop her from doing her penance, though, standing right beside where he's trying to tear through the utterly impenetrable wall of dark]

You know I won't, Draco. You know I can't.

Why the fuck not? [More snarled than anything despite the fact he's not looking at her, still fruitlessly attacking and fighting something that isn't moving. Maybe...maybe if he just works a little harder he can get through.]

I think you actually know that, too. I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am. But this is poisoning you, and there's a reason you called me and not someone else.

I already said never mind! I changed my mind. [Why he thought he could have a rational conversation about this, he's not sure.]

[she shakes her head again. she's watching him struggle, and there's pain written obvious across her face, but the shadow holds without even a hint of faltering]

I'm sorry. I'll still be there on the other side of your fear, Draco. So will you. The world will still be there, you'll still be in it.

[He's having a really hard time grasping what she's saying and he just claws at the shadow wall one more time before it happens. Without much warning, without really any sort of second thought, his powers give out due to the sheer overuse of them combined with physical exertion. His body hits the floor landing close to Sophie's feet, but he's not bothering to move.

But only for a few minutes. He's picking himself back up and more or less dragging himself across the floor to try and pry under the shadows around the door.

Why he thinks this will work is anybody's guess, but he's desperate to get out and that's really the important part here. He's sorely regretting bringing Sophie here, regretting even toying with the idea of telling her things.

The shadows continue to stand strong though, and despite this he's still clawing at them feebly.]

...damnit Sophie.

I know. I'm sorry.

[she sinks down to her knees and laces her fingers through his, pulling them back from the shadows. holding up this wall hasn't even made her visibly tired]

[Really, he should have realized that training prior to fighting with Sophie was going to put a strain on him. As it stands though he's still trying to fight against her hand, still trying to get to the shadows to pry a big enough hole.

It's pointless though.]

I can't stay here. I'm getting tired of standing by and letting terrible things happen that I could have stopped.

[her hold isn't hurting him, but she's keeping him from straining his hands trying to tear at something that isn't going to be torn]

The thing you're standing by and letting happen right now is inside you, Draco. Running won't stop it. You can't undo what happened in the past by running from it.

[He's still trying for the sake of trying, practically hearing Lucius' voice in his ear telling him to fight on and be stronger. You're a wizard, Draco. You should be stronger than this...girl.

Should be, but not likely.]

...how was I to know that's what she would do to her? What was I supposed to do when spells started flying and she started...just...mutilating her? I should have done something. I should have figured out a plan sooner and now because of me she gets to have a perfectly nice constant reminder of the day I stood by and watched her start to die a slow and painful death.

[sophie's gradually putting herself between draco and the shadows. despite the fact that she's struggling with him a bit, her voice stays pretty even]

You weren't to know. What could you have done, Draco, realistically? Not just should have and something. You didn't mark her.

I was there, Sophie. I could have--[He has no idea. He has absolutely no idea how he could have realistically helped Hermione without fucking everything up for his family and himself. As she gradually puts herself between him and shadows, he's just as gradually curling up into himself on the floor, only occasionally trying to strain to scratch the wall again.]

I watched. That's just as bad. I let it happen.

I know you were. I saw.

[the more he curls, the closer she gets to him. she still has his hands, so when he curls he's pulling her in as well]

You didn't answer the question. What could you have done?

[He just shakes his head. Rationally, yes, he's aware he couldn't have done much without getting them all killed. However...rationality took a nice, long vacation from this conversation. ]

I could have ignored them. I could have released Potter from the cellar myself.

[she's quiet for a long moment]

Who would have died for that?

...[He just quietly stares at her. Who do you think, Sophie? Draco Malfoy has never really been a self-sacrificing type of person...but a lot can change when you hear someone else's death mantra and actually understand what it's like.] It might have been worth it.

[she lets out a little breath and leans down over him, head resting on his shoulder]

They won the war, Draco. You haven't lived it yet, but she has. It happens. You lived, she lived. Everyone has their scars.

[she takes a long, slow breath, chest pressing into his shoulder for a moment]

I prefer you alive.

I think it terrifies her. How I got the scars. [Hopefully Sophie can keep up and realize he's suddenly talking about Jade instead. Draco likes to make illegal lefthand turns without signaling during conversations.] ...she asked me some things and the answers scared her. I scared her. She wants to know but I can't tell her. I can't terrify her again.

It doesn't matter. Sophie things were...are...were...are? Everything's hopeless, war won or not. Nothing will ever be the same ever again and I had a prime hand in causing the wreckoning.

Which scars? [it takes her a moment, but she realizes that the 'she' has changed once he starts talking about telling things. she can't imagine him being purposefully honest with hermione] When was this, Draco?

[her head rolls enough to look at him, even if it's a bit down her nose]

Things not being the same doesn't mean that they're hopeless. Just different.

...[He settles for gesturing to his arm first, and then his torso.] When was what?

[He's avoiding her gaze again, shaking his head.] They're synonymous for us. You don't understand, it's completely the same thing. Different is hopeless.

Show me? Not your arm.

When did she ask?

[there's a moment of silence, and then sophie lifts her head]

I understand hopeless, Draco. They won the war. Your mother helped end it. That's not hopeless. There's the possibility of redemption there, for you.

[He's shaking his head suddenly. No way. It's taken a lot for him to just show Jade his scarring. So instead he does exactly what she says not to do and holds out his arm.]

...right after the nightmares ended.

[He's biting his lip, tearing it up even further and sprouting a new bought of bleeding.] That's not...no. It's not that simple.

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