hollowchild | IC Inbox

I am well aware. And didn't assume you were, actually. But we just talked about appearances.

Does she know how you feel? No assumptions or presumptions, actual clear definite knowing?

I don't know, probably. [No.]

So no. And do you know, actual clear definite knowing, how she feels about you?

Yes. [No.] She's pretty set in us being friends.

Is she really set, or is she fighting not to lose you?

The reason that Connor and I are actually together, instead of still just circling around it, is because we ended up in a situation where we had to admit how things were. And I'm not saying that's how it always works out. It couldn't possibly be. But that's really why.

And yes, before you ask, it was completely terrifying. But not as terrifying as what I'd done, and what I stood to lose.

And that's all well and good, but I'm not letting what happened with Rapunzel and I happen to Jade and I. I don't think anyone really understands the gravity of Jade and I.

Then don't do what you did with Rapunzel. Tell Jade the whole truth. She's not a princess, and you well know it.

If I don't understand, then tell me how I'm treating it too lightly.

She's not a princess, but...[He shrugs.]

Well...I was incredibly suicidal before I moved in with Jade. I think she noticed that. Eating and sleeping were irrelevant and I think it sort of terrified her enough that she felt the need to monitor me. She lived with another girl for a long while but then things happened involving the stupid asshole she was in love with and it was a giant mess and she decided to move out of her old place and get a place with me. This was all a few months ago.

Of course you want to protect her. That doesn't mean that's all your love is.

[sophie will be kind enough to point out that eating and sleeping are still mostly irrelevant to him]

So she kept you going.

...for the longest time, having Jade around was like having a younger sister. When I first met her, she was only fourteen and somehow I made it my job to protect her, inadvertently. I'm very protective of the people I care about. But she's come and gone home a few times for short periods of time from the city but for years at home. She's sixteen now. Something changed and I don't know what it is but when I look at her it's like...[He stops suddenly because he's treading on Really Embarrassing and Humiliating territory. He'd like to keep the front that he's not warm and fuzzy for Jade Harley.]

[too late, she had his number a while ago on the jade harley front. plus he admitted to being in love with her already.]

Mm. Warm and big and fierce and a bit twisty, behind your ribs.

Add in 'hollow' and you've got it pegged. [He'll just hide his face behind his hand again because ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh.] I don't think she really realizes it even herself just how much she's saved my mind. But come off it...we have an apartment together. We have a dog together. We sleep together. I've found myself waking up cuddled up to her in my sleep more times than I'd like to ever admit. But she's amazing, Sophie. Really, really amazing. She's so stubborn and snarky and brilliant and ridiculous and she's actually kind of a geek, but in an endearing sort of way. ...cute, too, even with her buck teeth. Her eyes get me every time and I would sooner shoot myself in the head with an arrow than ever tell her that.

Obviously I asked you about Connor because I wanted something to compare it to. Somehow I don't think Jade and I would ever end up that lucky and I'd rather keep my best friend than keep pushing.

[good enough that his hand is over his face, because then he'll miss sophie's pained flinch]

Of course she doesn't. Hope she doesn't have to, that she's never even close to that place.

Why do you think it's a matter of luck?

...her life's not easy either. She's. There's a lot of royally fucked up parts of her world that she's told me about, and then sometimes nightmares she still hasn't exactly divulged me to. But she understands and she's a lot stronger than I am whether she notices or not. She's kind of the hero, and I'm the antagonist.

Because everything about my life is a matter of luck. Why shouldn't this be?

I didn't say it was easy. The kind of power she told me she had, that's not without cost. But there's a substantial difference between things being hard and that kind of despair.

...because that is complete bullshit, that's why. Don't devalue Connor that way. Or Jade.

[that sure would be the closest he's ever heard to sophie being angry, even if it's just a sharpening of her tone without any added volume to her voice]

Witch of space and all.

I'm not devaluing anybody. How's that devaluing?

How isn't it? As though people like that just happen, as though relationships just happen, like there's no choice or work involved.

[...well when you put it that way.] It's more the fact that I'm quite prone to making the wrong choices.

That's not luck, either.

[she sighs and leans down to bump her forehead gently against his. sorry about the temporary hair invasion]

You made mistakes. That doesn't mean you can only make mistakes, or that you have to keep making the same ones.

[He snorts once she's in his line of vision.] You'd be surprised. Anyway like I said, I was only asking for comparison. Maybe I'll get the point across someday but the times I've tried haven't exactly worked in my favor either.

Try me, Draco. You're talking to the girl who somewhat accidentally tainted herself with Hell.

[she lets out a fond little hum]

You were asking for comparison, and you saw how close you are, and how far.

I think she doesn't want to leave you, and that's more important to her than whatever she feels for the troll boy. I'd be afraid to lose that too. In fact, I was, until the stakes got significantly higher. But you should talk to her. Or listen while she talks, if you're that afraid of saying the wrong thing.

...I mean I've kissed her, too. And she got mad just like Rapunzel and honestly, I'm not a horrid kisser. Though now I'm questioning that...but that's not the point. The point is that I'm trying to listen and I'm trying to talk and all it's really accomplished is her babying me and thinking I'm still in love with Rapunzel.

[she's quiet for a moment, and then her head tilts and her mouth twists thoughtfully]

...Draco, from what you said about Rapunzel, it wasn't the kissing that made her angry. It was the conversation. What did you say to Jade after you kissed her?

[--busted.]

Um. That's sort of irrelevant too, isn't it?

No, it's really not. Especially if you're trying to tell me it is.

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