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[hollowchild]

Ah, hello. You've reached Sophie, but I must be in the midst of something. If you have a question about self-defense or Teachers' Council, leave a message letting me know what precisely you're interested in and I'll get back to you.

...everyone else, do as you do, I suppose.

Comments

[hollowchild]

Sort of. Okay. And?

[wasthemaster]

Annnd...I may have told her a little bit about my father.

[hollowchild]

Good. What did she say?

[wasthemaster]

It was good that I talked to you about it...but she didn't exactly like what she heard. She didn't think my father was a good source. Fathers should only love their children, blah blah blah.

[hollowchild]

Which is something like what I said, just in Jade fashion. Although, did she have a father?

The point is not for her to like what she hears. They are not particularly nice things. It is for her to hear it, because she wants to.

[wasthemaster]

...Jade's home world is complicated. But she was raised by her grandfather for several years before she was raised by Bec.

I know. She wants me to tell her everything first before I tell anyone else.

[hollowchild]

[it takes a few long minutes before she replies]

She has a very optimistic view of fathers.

I agree that you should tell her things. But I am not sure first is particularly realistic.

[wasthemaster]

I wasn't going to make it worse than it already was. We split up for a few hours after I told her a few things because it was vastly uncomfortable.

I didn't tell her that either. I'm going to try, but...it's complex.

[hollowchild]

These things are complex.

I do not know what to tell you. There are things you need to talk about. If you wait until you feel comfortable saying them to her they may never be said. It is a bad idea to lie to her about talking to me, that will help nothing. I do not want you to stop, though.

[wasthemaster]

Perhaps they aren't meant to be say.

Besides...later the conversation got really weird and I don't know if I like weird.

[hollowchild]

Or maybe the expectation is unrealistic. I still do not really understand jealousy, but I can make a guess. She is afraid that you talking to me means that you do not trust her enough, you are afraid that if you do she will stop caring for you.

[and nobody really cares what sophie feels about it, so she skips that bit]

What sort of weird?

[wasthemaster]

Close enough, I can assume. That's a whole other topic for another day...

Um. Like. Very weird. She was trying everything to make me feel better...

[hollowchild]

Is it?

...how?

[wasthemaster]

I'm learning that I can only tackle one tough subject with Jade at a time. She's still convinced somehow I'm going to leave her for someone else.

...she offered to sleep with me to help me feel better.

[hollowchild]

I see. That is not necessarily how you work as yourself, but I can see how it would be with her. And that conviction probably has as much to do with her as with you. Or more.

...that is. Not the best of reasons.

[wasthemaster]

I have to try, don't I? I love her. I'm about 88% sure she loves me, too. She's just....scared. Because of people who are absolute arseholes and couldn't just settle for her. I have to figure out the best way to convince her everything's going to be fine and if that means talking to her before anyone else...maybe I'll figure something out.

I know. I never said I actually did.

[hollowchild]

[this response is so, so slow in coming]

She loves you. She is scared. She wants to feel more special to you than anyone else. I have no doubt whatsoever that you can and will find other ways of making her feel valued. Talking about some of the things already in your queue counts.

She does not actually know what she is asking, when she asks that. You have told me as much before. It is a good sentiment, but reality is a little different. If you truly love her, and I believe you do, then you also have to do what is best for you, so that you can be good to her. And I would say that even if it was not me you often talked to, lest you think I am being jealous.

I did not think you would sleep with her for that reason.

[wasthemaster]

And she is. Which is where I still don't quite understand why she was so upset in the first place that I accidentally ranted to you first about my manipulative and abusive father. It's not as though I wanted to have that conversation with you first, or even at all. It just. Happened. Kind of like how Jade and I just happened.

Is it really that unrealistic to tell her everything? How often do you tell Connor things before you tell me? I can't imagine it's very often I'm first before him.

...besides, she tells me everything first, usually. About 95% of the time she comes to me first. I'm her best friend on top of being her boyfriend.

To her credit she later realized she's actually probably not ready to sleep with me. However obviously now that's on my mind, too.

[hollowchild]

I know that. You do not have to prove it to me, I am well aware. She is the one who seems to require proof. There are other kinds of proof.

You might be surprised about what I have talked to you about first. I still have not spoken to him about what happened in the nightmare you saw. He knows, but you are the only person I have ever spoken to about that at all. It is not that I think it unrealistic for you to tell her. I think it is unrealistic for either of you to expect that you will always talk to her first. Sometimes things happen that you did not plan. Sometimes you need to talk about things with someone else first, to figure out what to say and how.

That is her choice. Coming to you with things that happen now is not exactly the same as discussing one's past. It is not so much the things that happen in Asgard that are difficult for you to talk about, as I understand it. You could reciprocate that.

If she is not ready, then let it be for now. Are you ready?

[wasthemaster]

This all just loops back to having to try so hard to prove my point. It's troublesome, mostly.

...at all? Isn't that only because his father left so recently though and not just because I was there? Unrealistic though it may be, our entire relationship is sort of unrealistic if you think about it. It's mostly troublesome because my last relationship didn't have these sort of problems so I'm not entirely sure what I'm to do here. I don't talk about things with people. All of this is sort of new, and she's still getting used to actually being around people and not isolated on her own little island.

How could I reciprocate that?

Why's that a question as to whether I'm ready?

[hollowchild]

Perhaps. But you love her, so you will.

Yes, at all. At all without worrying about whether it will bring your world down around your head. And that is poor logic. I have never had any friends at all, Draco, much less people I trust, so I understand that things are strange. It may not be realistic, but that does not actually mean you should actively work to make it moreso, when the overall outcome is unlikely to be positive.

By doing the same? Things happen in the day that are not big dramatic secrets. If you wish to learn to be forthcoming, start small.

Because it takes at least two people to have sex.

[wasthemaster]

Perhaps.

You know, I think you're more upset about this than I am. What's that all about anyway?

I'm working on it. I'm working on it and it's a lot more difficult than I anticipated.

I'm aware of how sex works. That doesn't explain things though.

[hollowchild]

I do not doubt you.

Our perspectives differ, I expect.

Yes, I know. I was answering the question.

Does it not? Why would I assume your readiness? Do not even say because you are male.

[wasthemaster]

Do you trust me, yes or no?

. . .whatever. It's fine.

[hollowchild]

I trust you a great deal. Above almost everyone else. Part of that is trusting you will remain yourself, and part of that is knowing I care more for your wellbeing than you do, much as you care more for mine than I. It is not a condemnation.