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Ah, hello. You've reached Sophie, but I must be in the midst of something. If you have a question about self-defense or Teachers' Council, leave a message letting me know what precisely you're interested in and I'll get back to you.

...everyone else, do as you do, I suppose.

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We, as we are here, will never return home. Whether the war is won or lost, these people we have all become will be unmade. The war will be won and we will all go back to the place from where we came, and forget this one, or the war will be lost and everything will end, but either way, we will end. You and I and everyone else who has been changed here, for better or worse, will end.

We spend so much time trying to salvage, trying to prepare for a future that is not for us. It is for the people we once were. Take your chances.

[ it's a painful, liberating thought, something that makes it hard to breathe and for a moment, she looks like she might cry but the moment passes and Morgana is stronger again. ]

With Mordred?

[which is why sophie has only started speaking of it now, and only slowly, privately. it's a thought that still threatens to crush the air out of her lungs with its mad promise and pain]

Any of them. All of them. This is all we have, there is no home to sacrifice our happiness for. A war to win, yes, to finish what has been begun, but it's not an ending we will see through.

But when we return, if we return, I will loathe them again, and I would see Camelot burn and my brother destroyed. For all how much I love him here. That makes this game of war all the crueler.

Yes. And I will go back to dying, and if somehow I survive, I will not ever remember the only people who ever might have really loved me. Life is cruel. But I won't know, because I will be gone. It's a kindness, that we who understand our own horrors won't have to live them.

I would have you live.

[ it's a confession, it's not something she should say but Sophie had crawled under her walls from the moment she had met her and now here she is and the words slip out before she can control them. ]

If it were in my power. I am the Last Priestess of the Old Religion and I have done many things. Yet if I had my magic back, I'd have you live.

If I live, it will because the Devil himself kept a bargain. So we shall see.

But thank you. It means a great deal.

Gwen is lost in the middle of this chaos. I don't think she understands the majority of it. And I would not have her understand, either. I denied her for far too long, I could not grant her what Arthur and Merlin had granted me.

And I was cruel, for certain. Perhaps you are right. I should show both her and Mordred more grace.

You were cruel to do her a kindness. But perhaps just the kindness would make you happier.

[ there is something of a smirk on her lips. ]

Some would say kindness is entirely beyond me, Sophie.

Some people are fools, Morgana.

[ She chuckles at that, something deep but not dark, for once. ]

Yes.

Merlin thinks his place is behind Arthur, as a manservant's place is, for he thinks Arthur has no need of him and that is a great foolishness in its own right. He is to Arthur as Gwen is to me and I would claim Gwen's place is at my side, not one step behind me.

People feeling guilty seem to believe the worst of themselves. I'm not sure I can properly imagine disappointing Arthur, when he loves you.

Or perhaps, we have disappointed him all the worse, Merlin and I, because he loves us so.

Perhaps.

[there's really no perhaps in it, this seems like a truth to sophie. no knife cut as deeply as those wielded by a beloved hand. but morgana and merlin seem to be good at punishing themselves, besides]

I was speaking only to Merlin taking his penance in this form.

Merlin -

[ is an impossible man and Arthur said, you love him don't you? and Morgana agreed that, yes, yes she does; but he's a fool still. ]

Merlin and I have acted against one another for years, but it is not Arthur that should pay the price, I have told him as much.

And what does Arthur think?

Arthur had to find out one secret too many since his arrival here all these months ago. We give him the honesty we have not gave him in years and it is a heavy burden. I kept this a secret from him to spare him from knowing the things Merlin is able to do and Freya saw to it that he will know still.

[ and it frustrates her, it angers her. But anger would do little now. ]

Arthur thinks Merlin committed a terrible sin against the woman he calls sister and he is right but that does not mean he doesn't need him at his side despite of that, perhaps he can see it, I do not know.

The problem is that neither of you are wrong.

Perhaps.

[ she nods and sighs ]

But this will have to be solved. I will not let Arthur go to this war without friends at his side. We stand no chance this divided.

Agreed. Arthur and Merlin are at the center of too many things here for them to be divided. But I'm not sure Arthur can be made to do anything, at least not anything like this.

[you're all incredibly stubborn, is what she means]

He will see sense, I imagine. I simply hope it will be sooner rather than later, this city is too unexpected to allow him much time to consider.

It's true. Things have been quiet a long time. We're getting overdue.

I'll speak to Merlin, anyway, although I'm not sure what I can accomplish.

You might. Not being of Camelot might prove to be an advantage this time.

I suppose it could be in my favor. No one can accuse me of being too biased, anyway.

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