Jade is good for you in many ways. She is very obviously the most important person to you here. But as you have told me, there are things she does not understand, because they are almost impossible to really know without certain experiences. You have spent a lot of time trying to work things through in your head, and only gotten so far. Things have gotten better since you started talking more and running less.
What I see is how you talk, which is around in circles until you corner yourself or get cornered into the thing you actually wanted or needed to talk about. You just told me that you can only cover one serious topic at a time with Jade, which means your conversations have to be clear-cut and planned. That is not how you work with things you have not yet spoken of.
I have told you that you should talk to Jade about things, and I stand by that. But demanding to be first...she does not understand what it means. She is angry that I hurt you and let you be hurt, she envies our conversations, but she does not know the real cost of either of those things. I do not think you want to do that to or with her, either, which means you will stop talking, and things will fester, and you will lose ground. She will lose the person she loves, because you cannot fight everything inside you on your own. Nobody can.
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Jade is good for you in many ways. She is very obviously the most important person to you here. But as you have told me, there are things she does not understand, because they are almost impossible to really know without certain experiences. You have spent a lot of time trying to work things through in your head, and only gotten so far. Things have gotten better since you started talking more and running less.
What I see is how you talk, which is around in circles until you corner yourself or get cornered into the thing you actually wanted or needed to talk about. You just told me that you can only cover one serious topic at a time with Jade, which means your conversations have to be clear-cut and planned. That is not how you work with things you have not yet spoken of.
I have told you that you should talk to Jade about things, and I stand by that. But demanding to be first...she does not understand what it means. She is angry that I hurt you and let you be hurt, she envies our conversations, but she does not know the real cost of either of those things. I do not think you want to do that to or with her, either, which means you will stop talking, and things will fester, and you will lose ground. She will lose the person she loves, because you cannot fight everything inside you on your own. Nobody can.